Whatever
by kuroi ookami13
Summary: . No flames please. Read the the tale of Kazuma- Well read this shorter, Funnier version of Kaze no stigma! Please review!
1. The hot guy returns

**Disclaimer: i Dont own a german shepard. I also dont own a cat. Remind me who owns Kaze no stigma, cause i dont. My first fic for kaze no stigma...**

**Kazuma/intro: Eyes that change color magicly. That is the sign of a fictional and epicly hot character. Oh and the name of this show is Kaze no stigma.**

**After opening theme.**

**Ayano: Overly dramitic sumoning that takes long enough for me to ambushed while Im distracted with being epic! *summons sword* **

**Spider demon/youma cliche: *GETS ASS KICKED* (WOW i do battle scenes epicly well... not)**

**Ayano: Yes! I have gotten rid of the spider youma cliche! **

**Nanase and Yukari: *arrive* That didnt take very long!**

**Ayano: Hi minor characters that have nothing to do with the plot!**

**Nanase: We do! You didnt even watch the show...**

**Yukari: Lets celebrate the destruction of the spider cliche with some karaoke!**

**Nanase: Since no one gives a crap of you're opinion lets enjoy the ocean wind instead.**

***random wind blows up their skirts***

**Ayano: I hate the wind! even more then I hate cliche giant spiders!**

**Somewhere else**

**Kazuma: Bask in my hottness as I stare dramatically at a random house!**

**Name of episode: The hot dude returns**

**Maid lady: Hi Mr. Yagami. I trust that you left you're evil note book at home.**

**Kazuma: Ya, whatever. Lame authoress added a totally unfunny stupid death note refernce.**

**Blond dude: Kazuma? Why are you here? They hired you to kill a ghost youma demon thing? Who gave you permission to return to the country?**

**Kazuma: My dad pittied me and let me come back!111 isnt that great?**

**Blond dude: Ah whatever.**

**Old dude: You know Kazuma yagami? **

**Blond dude: His real name is Kazuma Kannagi. He just watched too much death note and changed it to Yagami. **

**Youma: *appears* HI...**

**Kazuma: fianally a non-cliche... but I steal have to kick you're ass.**

**Blond dude: *does stupid shit***

**Old dude: OMG! im totally sueing you for this! !**

**Kazuma: Ah screw money i dont wanna die! *gets the hell outa there and Old guy get killed by youma***

***Somewhere else* **

**Nanase: Hey Ayan-**

**Ayano: Gotta go losers! *runs of***

**Yukari: Well fuck you.**

**Somewhere else...AGAIN.**

**Ayano: Hi Ren!**

**Ren: My brother has returned!**

**Ayano: I thought you had a sister?**

**Ren: Well she changed her sex to male , cause she was embarrased from being banished ...**

**Ayano: REALLY?**

**Ren: Nyah. Just kidding...**

**SOME WHERE ELSE...**

**Blond dude: Wah!**

**Jugo: You have shamed our family blah,.**

**Genma: Hi**

**Ren and Ayano Arrive.**

**Ayano: You're here Genma?**

**Jugo: Maybe if you didnt-**

**Ayano: Yeah,great,nobody cares.**

**Jugo: blah blah.**

**Ayano: OMG! He's using wind magic! I totally give a crap even through he's not in my family and I don't remember him thatwell!1**

**Somewhere else**

**Blond dude: Don't kill me Kazuma! Im too hot to die!**

**Wind user: Arcording to Miss Aurthoress you're butt ugly. *kills him***

**Flash back/dream**

**Kazuma: Omg! Im on fire! No not my pretty facE!**

**Ayano: Im epic.**

**Genma: You supposed to- blah blah blah you suck blah blah.!**

**End of flash back.**

**Kazuma: Dammit! Now all the fangirls get to see me without a shirt!**

**Somewhere else**

**Jugo: Blah wind magic blah dead people blah...**

**Ayano: Eveyone thinks Kazumas killing the members of our family... blah blah.**

**Later**

**Ayano: Lets go kick the crap out of Kazuma even though we have no proof he's resonsible for the killings!\**

**Other dudes: Yeah!**

**Other dude 1: Kazuma you bitch! You killed that blond dude that I forgot the name of! HE WAS MY BEST FREIND!**

**Kazuma: What? Oh sorry... I was too busy basking in my own hottness that I wasnt paying attention...**

***PEOPLES ATTACK***

**Kazuma: *is epic* Im the main charater. I cant be killed in the first episode.**

**Other dude 2: Yusuke Urameshi was a main character, and he died in the first episode!**

**Kazuma: Oh go die.**

**Other dudes: *Go die***

**Ayano: You killed them! * attacks Kazuma***

**Kazuma: I didnt kill them I swear!1**

**Ayano: I dont care!**

**Kazuma: It was Ryuya!**

**Ryuya: Hey!**

**ENDING SONG.**

**Ayano: Why am i grounded? Well I dont care so read the next chapter which isnt even posted yet!**


	2. The past totally sucks

**Disclaimer: I dont own Kaze no stigma...and I still dont own a cat or german shertpard. But I want a german shepard. And not a cat. Thanks for the review Tsu-Tsux3 and bibiijammie! I appreciate it! Im not sure if this is as funny as chapter 1 so...**

**Kazuma: Eyes that magically change color- You know the rest**

**After opening**

**Ayano: Kazuma!**

**Kazuma: What?**

**Ayano: You're a murdering bastard!**

**Kazuma: Oh. Ok. * Flies somewhere***

**Name of episode: The past totally sucks.**

**Ayano: IM SO MAD! SO WHAT IF I TRIED TO KICK THE CRAP OUT OF A GUY WHO MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT KILL MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY AND IS EXTREMELY HOT!**

**Yukari: What did she say?**

**Nanase: Apparently she's grounded.**

**Yukari: She didn't say that!**

**Nanase: You said you don't know what she said.**

**Yukari: Oh screw you!**

**Somewhere else**

**Genma: Since Kazuma murdered the people right infront of Ayano he's totally innocent.**

**Jugo: Ah, go kick his ass anyway.**

**Genma: Ok!**

**Somwhere else.**

Phone rings.

**Kazuma: *Picks it up* Do ya have the money? Give it to me in three days or your cousin is dead.**

**Genma: What was that?**

**Kazuma: Oh hi. I don't want to call ya dad.**

**Genma: I don't give a craP. Met me. _Tonight._**

**Kazuma: Oh my god! WTF! WE ARE RELATED!**

**Genma: That doesnt matter. I disowned you.**

**Kazuma: * Hangs up***

**Flash back**

**Kazuma: Forgive me!**

**Genma: You lost to a_ girl_ younger than you. **

**Kazuma: Stop being sexist!**

**Genma: I disown you. I only has one son and he's not you.**

**Kazuma: Forgive me!**

**Genma: *throws Kazuma***

**Kazuma: You bastard! You're lucky I don't call cps!... FORGIVE ME!**

**End of flash back**

**Kazuma: Im not the kid scared get I used to be. Im a scared adult.**

**Genma: Im totally gonna kick your ass!**

**Kazuma: Screw you child abuser! *Throws wind at him***

**Genma: *Blocks* hehe... im epic * DOES GODS FIRE* You attacks don't work againts me!**

**Kazuma: * attacks work against him* **

**Genma: Wah! *knocked out***

**Kazuma: What should I do, my dead girlfriend who hasn't even been shown yet?**

**Somewhere else**

**Ren: Hi.**

**Kazuma: What! I thought some hot chick was supposed to met me at my hotel not this dude! Thats it I'm never using Craigslist again!  
><strong>

**Ren:...**

**Kazuma: Oh go away!**

**Ren: Im your brother!**

**Kazuma: I thought I had a sister... Lets go to my room.**

**Ren: OMIGAWD! INCEST!**

**Kazuma: Not like that... Oh Fathers in the hospital.**

**Ren: You took him your self?**

**Kazuma: Nah I just called 911 and told them where to find him.**

**Ren: Thats mean!**

**Somewhere else**

**Text message:**

**_Ayano, going to be in Hotel with Brother Tonight please don't worry._**

**Ayano: No! First he's killing my my family and now he's going to sleep with my cousin! I must stop him!**

**Somewhere else: **

**Ren: Are you the contrator?**

**Kazuma: Yeah.**

**Ren: Oh. Ok.**

**Ren: Are you the one killing Kannagis?**

**Kazuma: Yeah.**

**Ren: Oh..Ok.**

**...**

**Ren: WTF!  
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**Kazuma: Just kidding.**

**Ren: .**

**Kazuma: Stay here tonight...**

**Ren: OH my god!**

**Authoress: Dear fellow readers this is or probally a Kazuma/Ayano fic. I do not write incest. Sorry if I interupted you while you were reading this! Gomenasai and enjoy you story and dont forget to review.**

**Ren: That was Random!**

**Kazuma: Dumb ass Authoress! No interupting the damn story! You only talk in _author_ notes!**

**Somewhere else...**

**Ayano: Look at me randomanly run for 10 seconds!**

**Somwhere else:**

**Kazuma: Some idiot sliced this hotel in half using wind magic! *actual line***

**Kazuma And Ren: * escape through window***

**Ayano: Over dramatic summoning! **

**Building: Starts to fall.**

**Ayano: Oh hell Im just going to stand here like a idiot!**

**Ryuya: Evil Authoress said to kidnapp Ren *kidnapps Ren***

**Kazuma: Oh Hell.**

**Ending song!**

**Ayano: I dont want to work on with Kazuma! But apperently no one gives a crap... Next time... On THIS.**


	3. Kannagi head family

**Kazuma/intro: Eyes that change color-**

**Ayano: Oh shut up! Why do you get to say the intro!**

**Ryuyua: Miss Authoress s****aid She does not own Kaze no stigma. Miss Authoress said this chapter is Lame and not as funny. But do not flame her... That is all Miss Authoress told me to return to my post. **

**Authoress: Oh and JayEyedWolf, I do like the show and thinks it one of the greatest animes shows out there, Oh and thanks for the review. Thank all of you for your reveiws!**

**After opening**

**Kazuma: Look at my epic Blue dots!**

**Genma: Ahhh! There everywhere! *gets ass kicked***

**Somwhere else**

**Ayano: I have a sword! *BUILDING FALLS***

**Ryuya: *kidnaps Ren***

**Kazuma: I remember you... You're the guy who stole my lunch money!**

**Name of episode: "Miss Authoress couldn't** **think of a good title"-Ryuya.**

**At hotel remains.**

**Kirika Tachibana: This is obvisouly the work of the main character!. Now to go home and beat the crap out of the tenageers that keep throwing dead squirell carcasses in my pool.**

**At Jugo's House shrine...thing...**

**Kazuma: I hate all the fucktards that live here. I said I'd never come back here again...but now I really don't give a crap.**

**Jugo: Hi!**

**Kazuma: Didn't we just skip a whole part were I kick the crap out of some people?**

**Miss Authoress: Do not doubt me!**

**Jugo: So apperently you kicked the crap out of your dad?**

**Kazuma: Yep.**

**Jugo: And didn't get arrested?**

**Kazuma: Yep.**

**Jugo: GREAT!**

**Kazuma: Ren got kidnaped.**

**Jugo: Dammit!**

**Later**

***Ayano runs towards House shrine.***

**Random guy: Hello.**

**Ayano: I thought Kazuma was supposed to kick these guys ass?**

**Misao: Miss Authoress said she was being lazy and didn't feel like writting that part.**

**Ayano: Damn her shes going to change the whole plot! Soon this story is going to be stupid and unlikible!**

**Authoress: This story is already sTupid and unlikible! Therfor it doesnt matter!**

**Ayano: Then why did ya get reviews?**

**-silence-**

**Somewhere else**

**Kazuma: Let me show you who kiddnaped him. *takes out note book***

**Jugo: Wtf!**

**Kazuma: Sorry. I acciedently took out my death note... *Takes out different book***

**Jugo: Feh.**

**Kazuma: Its this guy! He took my hair style which obviously means that he's did it! He also took my lunch money...**

**Jugo: His hair is longe-**

**Ayano: *burst in* LET MEH CUT YOU IN HALF FOR NO APPERENT REASON!**

**Jugo: AYANO! NO CUTTING MAIN CHARACTERS IN HALF! and you are also not allowed to smoke crack... or kill people in your sleep...not that it happened before...**

**Ayano: He's evil!**

**Jugo: The evil ones are the fuga-clan. One of their members, Ryuya, takes too much of a liking to Authoress. No ones likes Authoress and is not evil!**

**Ayano: Its still Kazuma!**

**Jugo: Why hasen't he killed you yet?**

**Ayano: Cause Im the second main charater and the show would be dead without me!**

**Jugo: Yeah,whatever. Oh and just for the hell of it, the kannagis sealed away the sorce of their power, a youma called lord Gay-Hoe. Now Ren is a sacrifice to unseal Lord Gay-Hoe.**

**Kazuma: Wah!**

***dead girlfreind flash back***

**Tsui-Ling: Was I really put on the earth...just to be the main characters sorce of angst?**

**Evil Bastard: Of corse!**

**End of flash back.**

**Jugo: When the seal is broken Ren will die.**

**Ayano: Since I really don't like you and want you to shut up I'm going!**

**Kazuma: Don't leave me! I dont wanna get stuck with the old dude. **

***they leave***

***somwhere else***

**dude 1: Master, how much longer do we have to cosplay?**

**Dude2: Blah Kannagis suck blah blah blha theyshould die** blah

**In Car.**

**Ayano: Can ya drive any faster!**

**Kazuma: Yeah.**

**Ayano: I was being sarcastic!**

**Kazuma: Oh. Ok. *blows away door***

**Ayano: I could've rolled down the window if you wanted air!**

***They get out of there***

**Ryuya: You have angered Miss Authoress I must kill you now.**

**Authoress: Im not angered! I diown you!**

**Ryuya: Sorry Miss Authoress! It wont happen again!**

**Authoress: Thats right! BEEEEGGGG**! **OK. you forgiven.**

**After ending song.**

**Ryuya: You've been dissed Ayano! Thats right Im saying these shitz now!**


	4. contractor

**Miss Authoress: I do not own Kaze no stigma...Oh if you enjoy this story you might wanna check out "Miss Authoress" Thank you all for ya reviews! I think I'm going to miss my Loyal servant (Ryuya) as he dies in this in this chapter... NO FLAMES YOU CONTRACTOR WANNABES! i think this chapter is not as epic as the others...gomenasai...**

**Kazuma: Why Do I always hafta say this? Something about eyeballs and contractors and- *gets cut of by opening***

**After opening.**

**Kazuma And Ayano: *Jump out of car***

**Car: *Is destroyed***

**Ryuya: Hello~**

**Kazuma: Were you take my brother? I Heard you wanna kick the crap outa him, make him watch graphic videos, then sacrifice him to Lord Gay-Hoe!**

**Name of episode: The blue dots that randomly appear when Kazuma fights.**

**Ayano: *fights Ryuya* There's never been a Yo-**

**Kazuma: I getting the hell outa of here *Leaves***

**Ayano: Bastard.**

**Somewhere else**

**Dude: Lord Gay-Hoe, Be unleshed and do a whole bunch of cool stuff!**

**Kazuma: *saves REN* That was awesome. Hey Dumb Authoress! YA KNOW YOU ARE LOSING YOUR LOYAL FOLLOWER THIS CHAPTER! SUCKS TO BE YOU!**

**Kazuma: *does stuff* apperently my magic powers allows me to wake people up!**

**Ren: *wakes up*You bastard!**

**Kazuma: What have I told you about that word?**

**Ren: To use it often and every chance I get?**

**Kazuma: GOOD!**

**Miss Authoress: Hm...Hey would it be to much to ask not to kill Ryuyua...Pwease!**

**Kazuma: I getting you back for saying I was suicidal!**

**Miss Authoress: NOES!**

**Dude: Tell me why you are helping the Kannagis...**

**Kazuma: For money... HEY LOOK A RABBIT!**

**Ryuya: Hello~**

**Kazuma: Guess Ayano got the crap kicked out of her...NOT LITERALLY CAUSE THATS FRAKIN GROSS!**

**Ren: Ayano never loses, not with enraiha!**

**Dude: Time for you to join with lord gay-hoe Ryuya!**

**Ryuya: *kicks dudes ass, and leaves***

**Ren: I thought he works for the fuga-clan, why did he kill them?**

**Kazuma: He is only loyal to Miss Authoress.**

**Later**

**Kazuma: So what do we do with this dead body?**

**Ren: She's still alive!**

**Kazuma: The aura is eating her flesh and something like that.**

**Ren: How can we save her?**

**Kazuma: I used my epic-ness to cross over to fullmetal alchemist and got the philospers stone!**

**Ren: But if we used it wouldn't she turn into a humonculus?**

**Kazuma: Who cares! Humonculi are cool! *gives Ayano the medicene mouth-to mouth style***

**Ayano: WTF!**

**Ren: The evil spirit was gonna eat your soul but Kazuma turned you into a humonculus!**

**Ayano: Oh. Ok.**

**Kazuma: So why did you get your ass kicked?**

**Ayano: I don*t know!**

**Later**

**Ren: You guys go on ahead, I'll handle this! *purrifies stuff in a epic mannor***

***somewhere else***

**Ayano: *Atemps to kick Ryuya's ass***

**Kazuma: Kick his ass, while I be epic!**

***While Ayano tries to kicks Ryuya's ass***

**Kazuma: I summon thee, my magical blue dots! Oh, Ayano buy meh some time!**

**Ayano: Kazuma, You bastard!**

**Later**

**Ayano: Back off! *Does stuff that is later reveled too be the crimson flame/divine flame* Im tired off buying you time, Im going too kickt this guys ass even through I have no chances of winning! *Cuts Ryuya's arm off***

**Ryuya: *still alive* That can kill me! I must survive to serve Miss Authoress!**

**Kazuma: *Arrives* **

**Ayano: What happened to your eyes?**

**Kazuma: I was putting on my colored contacts on while you where fighting!**

**Ayano: That's totally alright with me! *Kills Ryuya***

**Miss Authoress: Damn it! Now I have to find a new servant!**

**Ayano: Ha! I killed him!**

**Kazuma: Ok. So how long are you going to sit like that?**

**Ren: Hello~ Ahhh! sugestive themes!**

**After theme song.**

**Ayano: You got dissed Ryuya! I got my role back!1 In ya face!11]**

**Miss Authoress: *crying* Please review...**


	5. The one who I forgot

**Miss Authoress: IM BAAACK!**

**Kazuma: Well you have been gone for some time...**

**Miss Authoress: Feh...Anyway, say the thing.**

**Kazuma: Eye-**

**Opening**

**after opening**

**Miss Authoress: Hey reviewers, Would you like me to write beyond the show? Such as when I right all 24 episodes I continue writting with made up episodes? Feel welcome to send a NON-parody fictionional episode 25 to me, and I WILL give you credit and If I like it I will parody-ize and add it as chapter 25 when Im done writting chapters 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14...and so on. hope i worded that right... tHis chapter might be shorter than the other ones...**

**random people: -sit around and drink tea, annoying and boring you for several secounds-**

**Ayano: -thoughts: How could he not buy a watch? Everyone has one, Jugo,Ryuya,Lapiz...-**

**Ren: Ayano, whats wrong did you forget to take your bipolar pills or something?**

**Ayano: GO EAT SOME STUFF YOU ANOREXIC MIDGET!**

**Ren: Serioulsy, One of these days Im going to kill Miss Authoress...**

**Miss Authoress: Hello!~**

**Kazuma: -walks in- ! IWILLKILLYOUALLWITHAPIXAXE!**

**Jugo: BAD KAZUMA! Learn to use spaces the readers cannot understand you!**

**Reader: I understand him! -spontainously combustes-**

**Jugo: This is the guy who killed Ryuya Kazamaki.**

**Ayano: Hm.**

**Ren: -is being the most effing cute thing in the world-**

**Kazuma: -being epic-**

**Misao: Hello~ I will be the antagonist for the next three episodes! oops that was a secret...**

**Name of episode: The one who cast away food**

**Ren: I will kill you all.**

**Misao: Ask me for anything for I am a cheap slut.**

**Kazuma: -About to kiss her-**

**Ayano: -DOES STUFF-**

**Misao: Blah blah blah.**

**Kazuma: I killed your brother. -ever so bluntly-**

**Misao: -Tries to stab him-**

**Jugo: -Drinking tea-**

**Misao: WAH!**

**Father: She will accept full punishment for this.**

**Kazuma: -Walks away-**

**Later**

**Ayano: Im mad!**

**Yukari: Why are you mad?**

**Ayano: Im not mad.**

**Nanase: Ok...HEY LOOK ITS KAZUMA!**

**Kazuma: Hey**

**Nanase: ...**

**Tachibana: Hello!**

**Ayano: IM MAD!**

**Tachibana: Is she your girlfriend?**

**Kazuma: No.**

**Tachibana: COOL!**

**-kazuma and Tachibana walk away-**

**Ayano: Heh..**

**Nanase: Your jealous**

**Ayano: Im not**

**Nanase: Ok**

**Ayano: -walks away-**

**Later:**

**Ayano: WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BASTARD! wait... AHH! GROSS THOUGHTS! -calls ren on phone-**

**Ren: Oh hey Ayano.**

**Ayano: IM YELLING AT YOU FOR NO APPERENT REASON!**

**Ren: EEP!**

**Later:**

**Ren: OMG IM TOTALLY CHECKING FOR KAZUMA IN A TRASH CAN!**

**ren: -sees kazuma walking by with Misao-**

**Ayano: -lets hide behind this extremly thin tree! -hides-**

**Kazuma and Misao: -Walk into place with alot of hotels-**

**Ren: I don't wanna see that!**

**Ayano: Don't worry, It'll be like watching a rated R movie!**

**Ren: Im only allowed to watch PG-13!**

**Ayano: Oh...-has sick thoughts-**

**Ren: Im scared...**

**Kazuma: -gets shot like 20 bazillion times and somehow still alive-**

**Misao: WAH!**

**-SKIPS A WHOLE SCENE-**

**-Later-**

**Misao: -on rooftop-**

**micheal harley: What do you wish for?**

**Misao: A puppy!... Wait revenge.**

**some where else**

**Girl: haha... -gets killed by green slime-**

**Later**

**Micheal: i Love pointless scenes**

**Misao: Yep! from now on I will call you angel!**

**After ending song**

**Ayano: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE**

**miss authoress: review...**


	6. Bonus chapter: The haunted video tape

**Miss authoress: Ha! You were probably thinking, " Wow! That was quick update time for chapter 6!" But This a bonus chapter to entertain you until Im finished writting the real episode 6! Thank ya all for all the reviews!**

**Kazuma: Something tells me this chapter is going to be really lame...**

**Miss Authoress: NO FLAMING, CONTRACTOR WANNABES!**

**Kazuma: Why do you say contractor wannabes, If Im a contractor and I can't use fire?**

**Miss Authoress: Hm...Good Point...NO FLAMING FIRE-MAGIC USER WANNABES!**

**The haunted video tape- part 1**

**Kazuma: Hey, Ren, I totally bought this haunted video tape man!**

**Ren: OMGIDON'TWANNADIE!**

**Kazuma: Learn to use spaces the readers can't understand you.**

**Reader: I can understand you!**

**Kazuma: That's great! Hey, Im going to the store, you can watch this video, until I get back, Ok with you?**

**Reader: Yeah!**

**Kazuma: -is back-**

**Reader: -has been mauled to death!-**

**Kazuma: ACK! It is really haunted! I thought Bernhardt was bluffing when he selled it to me! I must give it to someone I really,REALLY hate...**

**Later**

**Kazuma: Hey Miss Authoress! I got you this nice video! watch it man!**

**Miss Authoress: Im the one writting this story, I know it's haunted.**

**Kazuma: There's only one solution to this...**

**Miss Authoress: To destroy it?**

**Kazuma: NO! To sell it on ebay!**

**THE NEXT BONUS CHAPTER WILL BE AFTER EPISODE 9, CONCLUDING THE HAUNTED VIDEO TAPE.**


	7. The price of power

**Miss Authoress: IM BAACK! Thanks You, Readers, And reviewers! JayEyedWolf, Hope you get a account soon! Oh and Rambling is epic! I do not own Kaze no stigma. No flames fire magic wannabes! oh and JayEyedWolf and Bibijammie, you can send me ( By PM or Review) a Oc to use in the fictional episodes ( please no mary sues) Include name job, personality, any catchprases , apperence, or any um... (Such as The OC has a addiction to lolly pops or something) But only if you want too :)**

**Kazuma: YOU KNOW, WHAT? IM NOT SAYING THESE THINGS ANY MORE, IM-**

**Opening**

**after opening**

**Misao: Hm...What do I say again?**

**Miss Authoress: READ THE DAMN SCRIPT ALREADY!**

**Misao: -reading script- Hello, My name is Allen Walker, and I will decapitate you..?**

**Miss Authoress: -looks at Misao's script- Strangely enough, This is the actual script...What medication was I taking when I wrote that, I wonder...**

**Name of episode: The price of power**

**People: AHHH! MISS AUTHORESS ACTUALLY USED THE ORIGINAL TITLE OF A EPISODE IN THIS PARODY! RUN AWAY! -GETS KILLED BY green slime-**

**Misao: Is this the right thing for me to do?**

**Micheal Harley: Not really, and you'll probably go to hell, but you'll get a free puppy!**

**Misao: Yay!**

**Ayano: GIVE ME KAZUMA YAGAMI'S ROOM NUMBER NOW!**

**Dude: IDON'TWANNA DIE! ITS ROOM 666!**

**In elevater**

**Nanase: Hm...Ha you like Kazuma...**

**Yukari: I do not!**

**...**

**Nanase, Yukari and Ayano: That was weird.**

**In his room**

**Ayano: -throws something at Kazuma's face**

**Kazuma: What was that for?**

**Ayano: For being a jerk. Oh there's this slime thing that like totally kills people.**

**Kazuma: Ok. I'll take the job.**

**Ayano: Yay!**

**Kazuma: You're a burden.**

**Ayano: Bastard. **

**Later**

**Nanase: Ayano, Did you get dumped?**

**Yukari: YEAH! IT WAS SO HORRIBLE!**

**Nanase: ...**

**Ayano: Bye losers!**

**-they get stalked by the green slime-**

**Ayano: OVERLY DRAMATIC SUMMONING! -Starts fighting slime-**

**Kazuma: -saves everone-**

**Ayano: Thanks**

**Kazuma: Eff off. -Flies away-**

**Ayano: SCREW YOU!**

**Somewhere else**

**Kazuma: Hello**

**Misao: Look at my creepy aura...**

**Ayano: I've managed to randomly appear! OVERLY DRAMATIC SUMMONING!**

**Misao: Screw you all. -disappears-**

**Ayano: Bad Kazuma!**

**Kazuma: Hn. -flies away-**

**Somewhere else...AGAIN**

**Micheal Harley: You will asorb the ernergy You have collected from killing little kids in their sleep with a axe.**

**Misao: -goes into strange goo...-**

**Somewhere else...**

**Father: I will kill my own daughter cause Im a douche bag.**

**Ayano: You're evil.**

**Father: I know right?**

**Jugo: I fired Kazuma and gots some other people.**

**Ayano: I will stop Kazuma Yagami from interfearing!**

**Ren: Ayano...You're a bitch.**

**Ayano: What have I told you about that word?**

**Ren: To use it- WAIT? DID MISS AUTHORESS JUST TRY TO REUSE A STUPID JOKE?**

**Miss Authoress: I sure did~**

**...im not even going to...**

**Tachibana: Im the people that THEY hired...**

**Ayano: You're evil! wait...How many times has that been said this chapter?**

**Tachibana: Only two times?**

**Ayano: Felt like it was used alot more...YOU'RE EVIL YOU'RE EVIL YOU'RE EVIL! how about now?**

**Tachibana: -facepalm-**

**Somewhere else..**

**Peoples: -walk towards house-**

**Misao: Merry Christmas everyone time to die.**

**Father: How dare you look me in the eyes and call me your father!**

**Misao: I Never did , douche bag.**

**Ayano: Come on Ren, randomly run with me!**

**Ren: Ok~! -run for several seconds-**

**Kazuma: IM BACK!1**

**Ending song**

**Ayano: Oh Noes! The episodes are slowly begining to get shorter! help us! AHHHH!**


	8. I updated

**Miss Authoress: I do not own kaze no stigma. JayEyedWolf, Yeah! I watch inuyasha, Its a epic show! When is your birthday anyway? NO FLAMES FIRE MAGIC WANNABES**

**Kazuma: No little side conversations, Got it?**

**Miss Authoress: Not really :)**

**Kazuma: I know Im going to get cut of by the opening cause this is about the 2000 time, and Its gotten overused and-**

**-Gets cut off by opening- **

**Kazuma: -On fire- NO! WHY ISN'T STOP DROP AND ROLL WORKING! CURSE YOU MISSLEADING FIRE SAFTEY POSTERS!**

**Retarded kid: Whats wrong Kazuma can't stand the heat?**

**Kazuma: Douchebag.**

**Name of episode: Price of...I don't know? Not my fault I'm not good with coming up with clever titles!**

**Father: Misao! Look at me when Im talking to you!**

**Misao: No.**

**Father: GRR! dammit...she puts up such a good argument!**

**Somewhere else**

**Ayano: -standing on top of building- I wonder how many people saw this scene and wondered " Is Ayano Suicidal or something?" -leans of building-**

**Now I totally look unsuicidal! -sarcasm- Oh...FIRE BALL!**

**Kazuma: Random apperance!**

**Ayano: OVERLY DRAMATIC SUMMONING...IN AIR! -starts falling-**

**Kazuma: -catches- Wow. You suck.**

**Ayano: Fuck you, Kazuma!**

**Kazuma: -drops-**

**Ayano: REN BARRIOR! -holds up ren by jacket-**

**Kazuma: You still suck.**

**Ayano: Fuck- Wait didn't this already happen? Lets randomly run!**

**Misao: I killed my father. -attacks Kazuma-**

**Micheal harley: You're not strong enough to kill Kazuma.**

**Misao: I still get the free puppy?**

**Micheal harley: No.**

**Misao: DAMMIT!**

**Micheal Harley: Stars and wisdoms.**

**Flash back**

**Berhardt: Oh Yeah! I totally get A scene all to-**

**End of flash back**

**Misao: -Turns into Dragon-**

**Kazuma: Use purrifing magic to kill it without harming Misao**.

Ayano:** only Genma anf Jugo can do that!**

**Kazuma: Hello.**

**Ayano: What the-?** O**VERLY DRAMATIC SUMMONING!1** -A**TTACKS Dragon-**

**Dragon: -Does stuff-**

**Kazuma: -saves her-**

**Miss Authoress: BASK IN MY EPIC FIGHTING SCENE SKILLS! not...**

**Kazuma: Did I metion that we left a 12 year old boy to fight for us while we are talking?**

**Ayano: That's Cool with me!**

**Kazuma: Blue magical dots heal me!**

**Ayano: Wait..When did he get injured?**

**Miss authoress: In the real episode Kazuma got injured saving you. Since im lazy and like skipping scenes, he randomly has a injury...**

**Kazuma: -Does stuff-**

**Ayano: -Has God's fire- **

**Dragon: -melts-**

**Misao: I wanna die.**

**Kazuma: No!**

**Misao: Aw...**

**Ayano: NOES! THE EPISODES IS GETTING EVEN SHORTER NOW! -Evil glare at miss Authoress-**

**-later-**

**Misao: Im a nun!**

**Kazuma: This some how fixes everything!**

**Ren: Bye!**

**Ending song**

**Ayano: Im scarred of ghost. Wow. Sucky script, huh?**


	9. hn

**Miss Authoress: I do not own Kaze no stigma. Thanks for the reviews. NO FLAMES. No, I do NOT hate Zac Bagans**

**Kazuma: Eyes as blue as the azure sky that is the symbol of the contractor...Wait...DAMMIT THIS IS THE SCRIPT FOR THE ACTUAL SHOW!**

**END OF OPENING.**

**random girl: Im randomly running, cool right? The demon tree! Oh never mind thats just a legend! Wait.. this feels a little cliched doesn't it?**

**Orb of light: go away...go away...**

**random girl: IM IMAGINING THIS! Zak Bagans SAID YOU DON'T EXIST!**

**Orb: THAT BASTARD!**

**-Screams-**

**Name of episode: Ayano.**

**Ayano: original title there, Miss authoress.**

**Miss Authoress: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME! -Cries and runs into random corner-**

**Jugo: you school has ghost.**

A**yano: And?**

**Jugo: It's you're school.**

**Ayano: Wow. This dialouge is really lame.**

**Jugo: Yes, Yes it is. YOUR BODYGUARD WILL WALK IN ABOUT..N-**

**Kazuma: Hello, I was late because I was killing zombies and placing their dead corspes on sticks and selling them on the black market for about 19.99 a peice, and 100$ for 5.**

**-kazuma and Ayano leave-**

**Ayano: IM MAD!**

**Kazuma: I don't care!**

**Yukari and Nanase: -pop out of bushes- IM NEUTURAL!**

**Ayano: What the? No drugs for you!**

**Yukari: I wanna see a ghost!**

**Kazuma: Im epic.**

**Yukari: Yay! we can come!**

**-in school-**

**Ayano: No way this place is haunted?**

**Yukari: How about the seven wonders of seiryu high?**

**Nanase: Lets hear them!**

**Yukari: The ghost that stalks anorexic midgets in the restroom, the piano spointainoulsy combusting every five weeks, the evil statue that stalks people with a butter knife, the stairways diappering every ten days, the random stalker that eats kids, and the demon tree.**

**Ayano: I can prove those wrong, Its me that destroys the piano, the evil statue is probably Lapiz-**

**Miss Authoress: BAD AYANO! NO MENTIONING CHARACTERS THAT HAVE BEEN YET TO BE SHOWN!**

**Orb: ZAC BAGANS CAN KISS MY ASS!**

**Ayano: Overly dramatic summoning!**

**Yukari: Its gone...**

**Nanase: Somehow I've managed to randomly get a trumpet!**

**Ayano: Do you sense anything?**

**Kazuma: That's Zac Bagans job.**

**Ayano: FUCK OFF! -GETS hit in the face by orb-**

**Orb: DIEZACBAGANS! go away go away!**

**Ayano: -fire balls- May the power of Zac Bagans smite you!**

**Kazuma: -stops her-**

**Ayano: Douche**

**Kazuma: Lets go**

**Ayano: -goes-**

**-somewhere else-**

**Ren: Kazuma and Shana- ImmeanAyano are on a mission together, right?**

**Jugo: What do you think of them?**

**Ren: I think the would make a great team if Zac Bagans said so.**

**Miss Authoress: Whats up with Zac Bagans today? Do you want me to put him in this fic and have him kick all of your asses?**

**Ren: The fanfiction rules say you can't put real people in fics.**

**Miss Authoress: Sure. Ruin everything.**

**-somewhere else-**

**Orb: Go away go away!**

**Ayano: -falls down stairs without being seriously injured, somehow-**

**Nanase: Are you ok?**

**Ayano: Im alright but Zac Bagans must kill that thing...**

**-AFTER SEVERAL MINUTES OF BEING TORMENTED BY THE ORB-**

**IN random room**

**Ayano: DON'T DODGE THE QUESTION!**

**Kazuma: too bad.**

**-Walking through halls-**

**Ayano: -gets a bucket dropped on her head.- OVERLY DRAMATIC SUMMONING!**

**Orb: My hatred for Zac Bagans allows me to quickly dodge you attacks!**

**Ayano: WAH!**

**Kazuma: -catches orb, that is really a pixie-**

**Tiana (orb) : We are going to make a wish come true for a old man who is probably a pedo and likes stalking everyone who goes to this school.**

**-DOES STUFF TO TREE AND MAKE IT HAVE BLOSSOMS-**

**ayano: cool.**

**Ending**

**Ayano: Sucky chapter, right? Next chapter will be better. sorry.**


	10. The haunted video tape part two

**Miss Authoress: I do not own Kaze no stigma. Thanks Elivira, JayEyedWolf, and everone else who reviewed, favorited and put this on story alert. -bows- JayedEyedWolf-Chan I watch both subbed and dub... Oh and If my reviewers -glares- Want it, I'll make a parody for inuyasha! I havent watched wolf rain yet...Zac Bagans is that dude from ghost adventures!**

**The conclusion to the haunted video tape**

**Ayano: Look what I found on ebay!**

**Ren: What is it another polka dotted cat wearing a bikini and dancing to carameldansen?**

**Ayano: Its a haunted video tape!**

**Ren: Oh...Dammit...-walks out door that has has never existed until this exact moment-**

**Ayano: Dammit Im not rich enough...**

**Flamer: Oh Im totally going to buy this haunted video tape!**

**-The next day-**

**Kazuma: Some guy totally bought that video tape!**

**Zac Bagans: I have switched the haunted video tape with a video of Rick Astley singing "NEVER GOING TO GIVE YOU UP!" for safety purposes**

**-somewhere else-**

**Flamer: DAMMIT I'VE BEEN RICK-ROLLED AGAIN!**

**Later**

**-Ayano, Kazuma, And Ren surround a table with video tape on it -**

**Ren: So...What do we do?**

**Ayano: We destroyed it.**

**Kazuma: DUN DUN DUN!**

**Ayano and Ren: -glare at Kazuma-**

**Kazuma: Oh...Sorry.**

**Miss: Pm me how you want "the haunted video tape to end"**


	11. EEP!

**Miss Authoress: I do not own kaze no stigma. Oh jayEyedWolf-Chan MY d gray man stories are not that great, because I wrote them when I sucked at writting stuff... d gray man is really great! Do you have a email account so we can talk more often? I have watched Fma Brotherhood!1 Regular episodes will apear after this I promise**

**Kazuma: I wanna watch it.**

**Ayano: I KNEW IT! YOU ARE SUICIDAL!  
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**Kazuma: So what if I am! Um...I mean...I AM NOT! is that better?**

**Ayano: YOU CAN'T DIE YOU'RE THE MAIN CHARACTER AND MY LOVE INTEREST!**

**Kazuma: I ONLY LIKE TSUI LING!**

**Ayano: Who the hell is that?**

**Later**

**Kazuma: Im going to watch it!**

**Spirit King: Fuck you Kazuma!**

**Kazuma: Fuck you back turtle face!**

**After half way into the movie**

**Spirit king: SCREW YOU!**

**tv explodes**

**Kazuma: Dammit!**

**Old dude: Man, kids dont commit suicide the way they used to back in the day.**

**Kazuma: Zak Bagan said the old ways are out of style.**


End file.
